Me, myself & I

๐‘ฏ๐’๐’˜ ๐‘ฐ ๐‘ญ๐’๐’–๐’๐’… ๐‘ด๐’š๐’”๐’†๐’๐’‡ ๐‘จ๐’ˆ๐’‚๐’Š๐’: ๐‘จ ๐‘ฑ๐’๐’–๐’“๐’๐’†๐’š ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’“๐’๐’–๐’ˆ๐’‰ ๐‘ฉ๐’–๐’“๐’๐’๐’–๐’•, ๐‘จ๐‘ฐ ๐‘ถ๐’—๐’†๐’“๐’˜๐’‰๐’†๐’๐’Ž, ๐’‚๐’๐’… ๐‘ฏ๐’†๐’‚๐’๐’Š๐’๐’ˆ

๐™ต๐š˜๐š› ๐šŠ๐š—๐šข๐š˜๐š—๐šŽ ๐š ๐š‘๐š˜'๐šœ ๐šŽ๐šŸ๐šŽ๐š› ๐šœ๐š๐šŠ๐š›๐šŽ๐š ๐šŠ๐š ๐šŠ ๐š‹๐š•๐šŠ๐š—๐š” ๐š™๐šŠ๐š๐šŽ ๐šŠ๐š—๐š ๐š ๐š˜๐š—๐š๐šŽ๐š›๐šŽ๐š ๐š’๐š ๐š๐š‘๐šŽ๐šข'๐š›๐šŽ ๐šŽ๐š—๐š˜๐šž๐š๐š‘.

With AI taking over all the spaces and making people stop thinking for themselves, I can’t help but wonder โ€” is anything even worth it? I have stared at a blank page for a long time without finding the right thing to write or to learn.

The problem with wanting to be perfect in everything and having as many hobbies as possible is that I feel wasted. All my potential has gone to the ground while I have been walking all over it for so many days, weeks, months, and years. And then I wonder โ€” what have I done? It seems like I have been in the same place for quite some time. I see some memories like a movie in an old black-and-white cinema. I don’t remember things in detail like I used to, but I try to focus on the small things in everyday life that we sometimes forget we do.

Every challenge, every disappointment, every bad situation โ€” and Iโ€™ve had quite a few of those lately โ€” changed me. But they also gave me a gift I didnโ€™t have before.

I finished my Master’s degree and overcame procrastination. Even if itโ€™s something I donโ€™t really want or need, I became known for my astrology knowledge. That brought up quite a bit of traumaโ€ฆ but I learned not to care. Up until now, Iโ€™ve kept the promise not to let othersโ€™ opinions affect me.

And after that โ€” when life understood I could not be offended by others shaming my knowledge โ€” it gave me another challenge. And as soon as I got used to that one, another came. Then another. And then I understood: my love for knowledge and for understanding myself and others made me see the world of psychology on a deep, professional level.

So I have learned to forgive, but not forget.

Life will always give us challenges. But instead of focusing on what I could have done, and weeping for the person that I should have been, I am taking a step back โ€” and seeing the person I have become.

And maybeโ€ฆ if I embrace who I am, I will become the one I always wanted to โ€” but entirely better.

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